Some people look forward to tax season as a time of unexpected bounty; others approach it with as much enthusiasm as a deer might have for bowhunting season. For much of my career, I’ve been a self-employed person with erratic earnings. I usually owe. I put off filing for as long as possible, and then I often request an extension.
Procrastination is tempting: The Internal Revenue Service projects that it will receive requests for extensions from over 20 million people this year. Maybe we delay filing because, according to the I.R.S., it takes 13 hours to fill out the forms. Or maybe tax time forces us to confront a topic we often prefer to avoid: finances.
As of February 2022, 65 percent of Americans considered money a major source of stress, according to a survey published by the American Psychological Association. And there’s evidence that chronic stress from financial worries can take a toll on mental and physical health, contributing to increased risk of cardiovascular problems and insomnia.
“People think of money as numbers on a tax statement, but it’s really not,” said Megan McCoy, an assistant professor in the department of personal financial planning at Kansas State University. “Money is about power, control, safety, your future. It’s about survival, yet we try to repress the emotions that come up.”
As tax day looms — this year it’s April 18 — I reached out to experts for tips on facing the emotions around money and managing the stress.
If you share expenses with someone, exchange “money stories.”
A 2021 survey by the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants found that financial decisions are a significant source of conflict for nearly three-quarters of couples who are married or living together. Unsurprisingly, tax time can bring up all that tension, said Kristy Archuleta, a professor in financial planning at the University of Georgia.
Financial beliefs, emotions and behaviors are often rooted in the experiences we have in our families, said Marsha Barnes, a certified financial therapist in Charlotte, N.C. Knowing how your partner formed their money values can build empathy and understanding when your perspectives differ, Dr. Archuleta said, which can make filing taxes — and having conversations about money all year long — a little less adversarial.
Dr. McCoy suggested that you and your partner share your “money stories” with each other in detail. “You can ask questions like: Who paid the bills in your family? What early money memory gives you the most shame and the most pride? What did your parents do with money that you would never do yourself?”
These are “powerful conversations” that you’ve probably never had with your partner, she said.
Try not to procrastinate.
Jason Radley, an associate professor in the department of psychological and brain sciences at the University of Iowa, has found in his research that, when people are exposed to life stressors, those who confront them, rather than avoid them, have lower levels of stress hormones.
So don’t dawdle, said Dr. McCoy. “Problems in finance always come from delaying facing it head-on,” she said. “The sooner you figure out what your tax situation is, the sooner you can talk to the government about a payment plan and figure out lower-interest options.”
And, even if you’re not facing the nausea-inducing prospect of writing the government a check, if you wait too long to file, you may be so rushed that you miss a potential deduction or make an error, she added.
Build coping strategies into tax season.
Dr. McCoy suggested a technique for managing your anxiety: listing all the worst-case scenarios you imagine around doing your taxes. “Maybe you’re scared you’re going to owe money,” she suggested. “Maybe you’re afraid you’re going to go to debtor’s prison.” Making a list of worries, she said, allows you to figure out which of these scenarios are more realistic and need to be directly addressed.
If, for instance, you’re afraid you’ll be audited — a fear that the I.R.S. reports is more pervasive among Generation Z and millennials — I have some encouraging news: According to research from Syracuse University, the odds of that are only about 0.38 percent.
Most taxpayers can use the I.R.S. Free File program to complete and electronically file their returns at no cost, said Ken Corbin, commissioner of the wage and investment division at the I.R.S. He added that some taxpayers qualify for free I.R.S. Volunteer Income Tax Assistance to help with tax form preparation.
Starting earlier can also help reduce stress. Next year, I’m going to remember the anxiety that tax time caused and channel that energy into filing early. (Every year, the I.R.S. announces the earliest date that you can file; this year, it was Jan. 23.)
And Corbin suggested carrying out a record-keeping plan right after you file your 2022 return — a not-so-festive reminder that, for the I.R.S., “tax season” is all year round. “You’ll be glad you did,” said Corbin. “You can do this.”
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